Almost 6 months later

Well here I am almost 6 months after initially starting this blog and I am still fat. I have not lost any weight at all, in fact I have gained a little. I have a plan. This Saturday 1/8/2011 I am heading back to we!ght watchers. I am trying to work it out with a friend so we can go together and be motivation for each other. WW's is the only plan that I have actually been able to stick to and lose weight on. Also, I like the idea of their new point system with a lot of fruits and veggies being zero points!

What has been going on since the summer. Not a whole lot. I am still feeling horrible about myself. We went to a party on new years and I just sat there thinking about how fat I was. I can feel my chin hit my neck sometimes and it is uncomfortable. My jeans are a bit too tight in the waist. I have a huge fat roll. I just feel gross.

I was talking to my child about being at her wedding and started to think about my age and how when she gets married I will be likely in my 50's. At this current weight though I will be lucky to be alive then. For some reason it hit me. I have got to do this. I don't want her to end up without a parent at her wedding.

It is just so hard though. I feel I have let myself go so much that it is depressing and hard to get out of this hole. But I have got to do this. I cannot delay any longer. What a waste of 6 months this has been. I could have been down at least 30 pounds by now! It is always easier to be fat in the winter for me since I can hide under heavy jackets, sweaters, fleece coats, but with spring and summer around the corner I have to do this.

So Saturday is the big day. I am going to ww and then heading to the grocery store to get some food that will work with the new point system. Wish me luck!!