Last night went well. I made a vegetable steamer and added 1/2 of a boil bag of rice. I had leftovers which I am saving for tonight. It was super yummy! I went for a walk last night with hubby, dog, and our child. We walked a little over a mile which is not much, but definitely is a start. Of course being in this horrible shape, there were many times when I thought I was going to fall over, especially since it is so hot here, but I kept on going and made it! After dinner I was going to have some fruit but I really wasn't hungry so I decided against the extra calories. I woke up starving this morning though. I am now eating a 100 calorie bagel with light cream cheese. I love these bagels:)
I took my measurements this morning. I want to be able to see not only how much weight I lose but also how many inches. Um, let's just say the measuring was quite depressing. I am actually shocked at how big my body is. I think all of these years I have convinces myself that I am not "THAT" big therefore when I look in the mirror, I see a fat girl, but it isn't too bad. Well guess what.... It is horrible and after measuring myself, I am astounded by the large numbers. Since I am putting everything out here I will list what I am.
Waist - 50 inches - holy cow!
Bust - 51 inches with a bra on - that is crazy to think my stomach sticks out almost as far as my chest. Not good!
Hips - somewhere between 54-56 inches. I have always had big hips but this is something else.
Left thigh - 32 inches - again talk about thunder thighs. Waists should be that big, not thighs!
Right thigh - 31 inches
Arms - 16-17 inches and trust me that isn't muscle
Neck - 16 inches - I am interested to see how much this goes down. Some of my old necklaces are too tight to wear now. I am hoping to fit into them soon.
There you have it! Until tomorrow....
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
The BIG weigh in
I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually wasn't as bad as what I thought. I figured it would be 5 pounds more. Anyway, now for the number.....
246 lbs
Wow I still cannot believe I have let my weight get that out of control. I weigh a lot more than my husband. That is so embarassing. So I can remember these feelings and problems associated with my weight I wanted to list my reasons for wanting to lose weight and how being this overweight has affected me.
trouble climbing stairs
trouble getting up from ground
knees hurt
ankles hurt
top of feet hurt
body is stiff
take a lot of advil
want to be able to play with child
sweat a lot when hot - could be related to other things but notice this more since I have been bigger
clothes are too tight
difficulty finding cute clothes since I have to shop in big woman's section
scared to sit on chairs and break them. outdoor chair does not hold my weight and it looks like it is sinking in.
out to dinner and have trouble fitting in booth - I fit but my fat roll sometimes touches the table.
have trouble bending over to tie shoes
trouble shaving
want to be healthier. have higher blood pressure.
feel sick after binging on food and am sick of feeling that way
money - Eating out at lunch and sometimes breakfast too is expensive when you do it 5 days a week.
headaches
Okay this is all I can think of for now.
Breakfast this morning consisted of oatmeal and orange juice. For snack I have carrots and ranch. Lunch I have a Healthy Ch0ice meal and salad. Afternoon snack cut up strawberries, grapes, and banana. Dinner is unknown so far.
I can do this right? Am I crazy to think so???? If I don't I know I will end up dead at age 50 of a heart attack or something. I am already concerned about diabetes and scared to go to the doctor for fear of receiving the diagnosis. This isn't fair to my child and I don't want to be like this.
I am done for now. I am thinking it is really going to help writing down all of these feelings even if no one will read them!
246 lbs
Wow I still cannot believe I have let my weight get that out of control. I weigh a lot more than my husband. That is so embarassing. So I can remember these feelings and problems associated with my weight I wanted to list my reasons for wanting to lose weight and how being this overweight has affected me.
trouble climbing stairs
trouble getting up from ground
knees hurt
ankles hurt
top of feet hurt
body is stiff
take a lot of advil
want to be able to play with child
sweat a lot when hot - could be related to other things but notice this more since I have been bigger
clothes are too tight
difficulty finding cute clothes since I have to shop in big woman's section
scared to sit on chairs and break them. outdoor chair does not hold my weight and it looks like it is sinking in.
out to dinner and have trouble fitting in booth - I fit but my fat roll sometimes touches the table.
have trouble bending over to tie shoes
trouble shaving
want to be healthier. have higher blood pressure.
feel sick after binging on food and am sick of feeling that way
money - Eating out at lunch and sometimes breakfast too is expensive when you do it 5 days a week.
headaches
Okay this is all I can think of for now.
Breakfast this morning consisted of oatmeal and orange juice. For snack I have carrots and ranch. Lunch I have a Healthy Ch0ice meal and salad. Afternoon snack cut up strawberries, grapes, and banana. Dinner is unknown so far.
I can do this right? Am I crazy to think so???? If I don't I know I will end up dead at age 50 of a heart attack or something. I am already concerned about diabetes and scared to go to the doctor for fear of receiving the diagnosis. This isn't fair to my child and I don't want to be like this.
I am done for now. I am thinking it is really going to help writing down all of these feelings even if no one will read them!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Finally Doing It
It is Sunday night and I am finally ready to start this journey. I have struggled with my weight for years and years. Most recently in the past couple of years I have gained 50 pounds which now puts me at about 100 pounds over weight. Wow, that hurts to even type it. I have a problem with food. I use it to make me feel better. I eat and eat and never can seem to stop when I am full.
My mother always nags me about my weight and has done so for years. My husband doesn't say anything about me being extremely fat but I know he thinks it. I don't hear very often that I look good or pretty anymore. The lack of compliments shows me how he feels. I feel horrible in my skin. I feel everywhere I go people are staring at me and thinking how fat I am. I am ashamed about the sizes I wear now. I am in a 20-22 now. I remember when I was a size 14-16 and thought I was fat!
I think part of the problem is that I am so big, I have been scared to start because I can't imagine losing as much weight as I need to.
As I said before I need to lose around 100 pounds. I have gained around 50 pounds in the last 2 years and 95 total in 4.5 years. I guess I am done rambling. Tomorrow morning it starts.
One final thing. Tonight I told my husband I cut up my fruits and vegetables for work tomorrow and that I was starting health eating and was serious. His response was "yea right." I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry right there. He has lost some weight recently but isn't exactly skinny. Oh that really pissed me off. With or without his support I want to do this. It would be nice to have him cheering for me but I suppose that is too much to ask for. It pisses me off but makes me want to do this even more.
Tomorrow I will post my starting weight and start documenting my daily menu. Wish me luck!
My mother always nags me about my weight and has done so for years. My husband doesn't say anything about me being extremely fat but I know he thinks it. I don't hear very often that I look good or pretty anymore. The lack of compliments shows me how he feels. I feel horrible in my skin. I feel everywhere I go people are staring at me and thinking how fat I am. I am ashamed about the sizes I wear now. I am in a 20-22 now. I remember when I was a size 14-16 and thought I was fat!
I think part of the problem is that I am so big, I have been scared to start because I can't imagine losing as much weight as I need to.
As I said before I need to lose around 100 pounds. I have gained around 50 pounds in the last 2 years and 95 total in 4.5 years. I guess I am done rambling. Tomorrow morning it starts.
One final thing. Tonight I told my husband I cut up my fruits and vegetables for work tomorrow and that I was starting health eating and was serious. His response was "yea right." I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry right there. He has lost some weight recently but isn't exactly skinny. Oh that really pissed me off. With or without his support I want to do this. It would be nice to have him cheering for me but I suppose that is too much to ask for. It pisses me off but makes me want to do this even more.
Tomorrow I will post my starting weight and start documenting my daily menu. Wish me luck!
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